"Life had broken my heart, my spirit
And then you crossed my path
You quelled my fears, you made me laugh
Then you covered my heart in kisses”
i wish i could tell you that you dont have to die, but everything ends. there is no way to avoid it, but you have to ignore it. pretend you are immortal, do what you want, have fun (but be careful) and just forget that there will be an end. what are you here to do? who are you here to be with and help and love? ask yourself questions about life and figure yourself out before you talk about dying. i like to think that we are one soul just coming back multiple times and affecting the world constantly with our energy, be it good or bad. all i know is that it makes me feel better to think i am only one life of many, this is just a time i am spending here and its up to me to make it worthwhile.
first off, you are not ruining anyone’s day by telling them that you are struggling with your life. i used to think that way too, until my mom caught me and made me feel even WORSE for not telling her how i was feeling. i find it’s easier to tell a friend first sometimes, but only if you have a friend that you feel comfortable speaking to and also will not belittle you or make you feel stupid for feeling this way. there is no ‘right time’ to tell someone how much it hurts and that nothing feels worth it, but when you do, you need to be ready to talk about it. you need to be ready to go to see someone and get help; most of all, you need to be ready to help yourself. some people take months and some people take years to heal, while others never fully do. just remember that everything is your choice, but this life was given to you by your parents-they chose to have you (even if it was an “accident”, they still kept it!). in my eyes, this means that they love you, even if they hurt you mentally, even if they dont understand right away.
the best time to tell someone is when you feel most comfortable; i found it was easier for me to first tell my boyfriend at the time, and instead of saying “im depressed, i want to kill myself,” etc. i just showed him the cuts. it’s enough to break anyone’s heart when you show them that you feel that way.
so please be strong, please be safe and please let someone know as soon as you feel ready. <3
if you don’t feel ready still, and you want to talk about it (to a stranger) PLEASE MESSAGE ME!!!! i will ALWAYS respond and try my best to make you feel a bit better or just discuss what’s going on, ok? <3 (this goes for anyone)